Once upon a time I had like, 2-3 kids and had time to blog about fun things like cloth diapers. Now, I'm just a Mom in over her head with 8 and can seriously only blog every few months a little update! Give some credit for keeping it real ;-)
If you don't already know- we brought our newest daughter (8th child) HOME in early June. Olive Grace, she is 7 (ish) and has been transitioning wonderfully considering what a HUGE impact this is on their little lives. Our home is a little louder (ok, a lot), a little messier, quicker to run out of everything (hello food) and just non-stop. A week after coming home we left for a week long vacation. A day after getting home from that we started VBS at our home church for a week so we have been go, go, go and I just really want an awesome nap!
But really, she has done beautifully. I'm so proud of her and all of the things she is willing to try and do that she didn't even know existed 3 weeks ago. Reason number 3059523948586 why older child adoption is worth it.
Grafting her into our family has been, interesting. When we adopted the boys all our children at home were still all pretty young and go-with-the-flow. Now they are all older and have their own sets of feelings and emotions about it all. A few of them have needed a lot more one-on-one time, a few have needed a lot more attention, and a few of them have acted their feelings out in their behavior and that has probably been the hardest, especially for one of our four year olds who just hasn't been himself. But- time and the Lord heals all and we are all in this together, plugging away at feelings and behaviors and heart issues and learning to choose love and joy even when we don't feel like it.
I mentioned on social media a few days a little something about adoption being isolating and I had a question asked about it, so I wanted to follow up to that on here. Not many people understand adoption AFTER the airport. They grasp the paperwork, they grasp traveling and separation and waiting and then I think that most people imagine bringing your child home to be really amazing and sweet with all of the cuddles and hearts and just basically, completely romanticized. And I do believe that adoptive families have brought that on ourselves because very few families are open about what it's actually like and only post the sweet and the good and the melt-your-heart moments.
Except me :-) These kids are hurting, they are traumatized and in culture shock, sensory overload and again, hurting. They have lost every single thing they have ever known. Their families, friends, "home", routine, schooling, structure, culture, country. Most have experienced some form of trauma in their lives, whether it be abuse or death of a parent, starvation, living on the street, having to beg for their next meal and place to sleep. Now they are all of a sudden living with a family who does not look like them, does not speak like them or cook how they like and we cant communicate well and almost instantly there are so many expectations and everything is just thrown at the child all at once.
Here is your new family, go and be like them and live like them and change all you have ever known.
So no. It's not all cuddles and giggles and sweet family photos, its made up of a lot of hard times and a lot of hard days. It's filled with a lot of work trying to communicate needs and wants, work trying to feel somewhat settled. Filled with comforting grieving and hurt children , filled with trying to establish attachment between us and a bond and sometimes it takes years and years for this to happen.
Because not many people understand all of this, they often do not understand why adoptive families choose to withdraw from their usual outings and commitments, trying to stay at home and away from other people and places.
Because our girl needs to LEARN what HOME is. That this is her home, that we aren't leaving, this is her place. We don't go from home to home and friend's to friend's in this season for a reason.
Because when she hugs you and calls you mama, it may be cute and melt your heart but it's actually sad because she does not know what a mama is and what it means to have a real mom. To her, "mama" is basically any woman who she thinks will or can meet her needs. She needs to learn WHAT a mom is, what a mom does, and WHO her one Mom is. To all my sweet friends, please, do not meet needs or wants for her when she approaches you.
We have one little guy who struggles with attachment, 3 years later. If he is not with us we will find him on someone's lap. All you have to do is smile at him and seem like a nice person and he is all.over.you. I weekly get comments and texts about how sweet he is and lovable- and he is sweet and lovable but it's not sweet or healthy or normal to be lovable with strangers and anyone/everyone. The very qualities that people love about him and think make him such a great little guy are the qualities we are so desperately trying to change.
People don't understand this stuff and it's so easy to feel alone in it all and why having a good adoption community is SO valuable in this journey! PS- I am so thankful to have so many understanding and supportive hearts here and far! We are blessed with a plethora of friends afar who we can reach out to, and our church family has been an awesome support since day 1. This is not a pity party post, but hopefully just informative and helpful.
On a lighter note:
-I ate half of a medium bag of peanut butter m and ms yesterday. How do they end up in my house!?
-I also made coffee 3x yesterday and never got around to actually drinking any of it.
-When we pull into the church parking lot, Olive excitedly shouts "church-y! church-y"! Hopefully this lasts when she realizes that VBS is NOT what our actual church experience is like ;-)
-One of my kids bit their VBS teachers finger today. And I'm like...egh. There are so many people I feel like biting sometimes too.
- My beloved summer reading list is not being worked through nearly as fast as I hoped, I'm only 1.5 books in.
-I'm reading for school to begin again, what is with the summer days being SO stinking long?!
Until next time, :)
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Cauliflower Pizza Crust
As cliche as it is, pizza is my most favorite food ever. There is nothing as good as enjoying a thin crust pizza loaded with all the meat and veggies from our favorite pizza shop (eeek my mouth is watering thinking about it!)
But realistically, I can't eat my favorite pizza weekly. Ok, I can't even eat it bi-weekly on my training and macros schedule. Thus began my hunt for the perfect pizza fix I could make at home that wouldn't be loaded with carbs and fat (a pizza I could comfortably fit into my macros for the day).
And I stumbled on cauliflower crust, and I fell in love.
Cauliflower crust pizza? You bet. It's so easy and tastes very close to the real thing for a fraction of the macros. I promise! I even tested it on my dad- he had no idea it was cauliflower until after he ate it and he loved it.
What you need:
-1 head cauliflower (no stalk)
-1/2 cup shredded mozzarella (or Italian blend cheese)
-1/4 cup grated Parmesan
-1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
-1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
-1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
-2 eggs lightly beaten
What you do:
-Pre heat over to 400 and line a pizza pan (or pan of your choice!) with parchment paper.
-Steam or boil your cauliflower, then toss it in a food processor to turn it into a "rice" like consistency. Lay it on top of a paper towel afterwards to help remove extra moisture.
-Mix together all ingredients in a bowl .
-Spread on your pizza pan and form your crust, bake plain for 20 minutes.
-Add all of your yummy toppings (I love cheese, pepperoni and as many veggies I have!) and bake for 10-15 more minutes.
ENJOY! I eat this weekly!
But realistically, I can't eat my favorite pizza weekly. Ok, I can't even eat it bi-weekly on my training and macros schedule. Thus began my hunt for the perfect pizza fix I could make at home that wouldn't be loaded with carbs and fat (a pizza I could comfortably fit into my macros for the day).
And I stumbled on cauliflower crust, and I fell in love.
Cauliflower crust pizza? You bet. It's so easy and tastes very close to the real thing for a fraction of the macros. I promise! I even tested it on my dad- he had no idea it was cauliflower until after he ate it and he loved it.
What you need:
-1 head cauliflower (no stalk)
-1/2 cup shredded mozzarella (or Italian blend cheese)
-1/4 cup grated Parmesan
-1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
-1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
-1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
-2 eggs lightly beaten
What you do:
-Pre heat over to 400 and line a pizza pan (or pan of your choice!) with parchment paper.
-Steam or boil your cauliflower, then toss it in a food processor to turn it into a "rice" like consistency. Lay it on top of a paper towel afterwards to help remove extra moisture.
-Mix together all ingredients in a bowl .
-Spread on your pizza pan and form your crust, bake plain for 20 minutes.
-Add all of your yummy toppings (I love cheese, pepperoni and as many veggies I have!) and bake for 10-15 more minutes.
ENJOY! I eat this weekly!
Monday, February 22, 2016
adoption updates
-It's been 9 weeks home since leaving the red dirt and leaving one behind, again. I was shocked that we'd have to make a third trip but I am comforted knowing that the Lord goes before me and knows what is best, and that we are not alone in this. We are banned together with many other families in the fight to get our children home. I am so thankful that for now she is being well cared for and loved on.
-Home is good. There is nothing that will make you appreciate vacuuming and bathing your babies and cooking dinner and wiping noses then spending a long amount of time away from everyone and everything that you hold closely. I seriously spent my first 3 days home constantly thanking the Lord for all of it. Holding my babies, being home. It is so good and home is indeed where this mama belongs. (and I have absolutely no idea how I got through 5 weeks away during our adoption process in 2013, no idea!)
-Recovering from Ugandan things like...injured tailbones from boda rides...makes me a legit experienced Ugandan visitor person. I'm just missing the nose ring ;-)
-I don't consider myself a super big "homeschooling is the best thing in the world and the best option for every child" kind of person, at all. But I do so love the flexibility we have. If we did not homeschool I have no idea how we would have made these past two trips happen. Constantly thanking the Lord for paving the way for this to be a real option for our family that we all benefit from.
-This past week has consisted of lots of cuddles, cooking, reading books and playing outside. Again, home is so good.
-It has been months and months since I have seen any progress in my body. I am sure raspberry cheesecake gelato has nothing to contribute to this fact. So this morning I woke at 4:30 (yes, four stinking thirty AM) and dragged myself to Crossfit and joined. Running is just not cutting it for me anymore, obvs! - and my friend reminded me of my long lost love for Crossfit that needed to be rekindled. I agree, it had been almost a full year without it and this morning I loved every single second of it- legs wobbly by the end and all! Snatches and rows and boxes and meter runs and sweat and sore bodies, bring it on.
-My current favorite dinner (that happens to also be whole30 approved) thanks to stalking JH on IG:
grill up onion, green pepper, jalapeño, whatever veggies you have on hand that you like grilled in a cast iron.
add 2 cans of diced tomatoes (I used fire roasted) and let simmer a little bit
make 4 shallow pits in the "sauce" and crack an egg in each
cover and let the egg cook through, you can break the yolk if thats how you like or leave it
once the egg is cooked through- sprinkle with salt/papper/parmesan cheese
feeds two people, adjust as needed
Gahhhhhh the egg comes out perfectly and it's so weirdly good. Like you are eating breakfast for dinner but kind of not. You're welcome.
-I should probably turn in when my eyes are so tired they are watering- 4:30am comes quickly. Thank you all for continuing to pray our girl home- we are overwhelmed at the outpouring of genuine love and concern and the desire to help that our community has shown us. We have good people, thankful to the Lord for each of you!
(Mattresses on a boda)
*In the last 9 weeks since having to come home, we've had to hire an immigration attorney to help us obtain a visa for Olive. Up until this point, our adoption was fully funded, including the 3rd trip. But we've since had to use our travel money for the third trip ($5,000) to pay for the unexpected attorney fees, now leaving us short. We don't expect to travel until late May, and we are continuing to pray that the Lord will continue to provide for this last leg of the process! If you feel led, all donations made through this paypal link go directly into a separate adoption account where 100% goes towards our third trip to bring her home. *
-I took Riley with me this trip and it was the best decision ever. She loved Uganda as much as I do and was brave and adventurous. She was so kind and compassionate to her new sister and I pray it will help their bond once she is home. Bring your kids with you if you can!
-Home is good. There is nothing that will make you appreciate vacuuming and bathing your babies and cooking dinner and wiping noses then spending a long amount of time away from everyone and everything that you hold closely. I seriously spent my first 3 days home constantly thanking the Lord for all of it. Holding my babies, being home. It is so good and home is indeed where this mama belongs. (and I have absolutely no idea how I got through 5 weeks away during our adoption process in 2013, no idea!)
-Recovering from Ugandan things like...injured tailbones from boda rides...makes me a legit experienced Ugandan visitor person. I'm just missing the nose ring ;-)
-I don't consider myself a super big "homeschooling is the best thing in the world and the best option for every child" kind of person, at all. But I do so love the flexibility we have. If we did not homeschool I have no idea how we would have made these past two trips happen. Constantly thanking the Lord for paving the way for this to be a real option for our family that we all benefit from.
-This past week has consisted of lots of cuddles, cooking, reading books and playing outside. Again, home is so good.
-It has been months and months since I have seen any progress in my body. I am sure raspberry cheesecake gelato has nothing to contribute to this fact. So this morning I woke at 4:30 (yes, four stinking thirty AM) and dragged myself to Crossfit and joined. Running is just not cutting it for me anymore, obvs! - and my friend reminded me of my long lost love for Crossfit that needed to be rekindled. I agree, it had been almost a full year without it and this morning I loved every single second of it- legs wobbly by the end and all! Snatches and rows and boxes and meter runs and sweat and sore bodies, bring it on.
-My current favorite dinner (that happens to also be whole30 approved) thanks to stalking JH on IG:
grill up onion, green pepper, jalapeño, whatever veggies you have on hand that you like grilled in a cast iron.
add 2 cans of diced tomatoes (I used fire roasted) and let simmer a little bit
make 4 shallow pits in the "sauce" and crack an egg in each
cover and let the egg cook through, you can break the yolk if thats how you like or leave it
once the egg is cooked through- sprinkle with salt/papper/parmesan cheese
feeds two people, adjust as needed
Gahhhhhh the egg comes out perfectly and it's so weirdly good. Like you are eating breakfast for dinner but kind of not. You're welcome.
-I should probably turn in when my eyes are so tired they are watering- 4:30am comes quickly. Thank you all for continuing to pray our girl home- we are overwhelmed at the outpouring of genuine love and concern and the desire to help that our community has shown us. We have good people, thankful to the Lord for each of you!
*In the last 9 weeks since having to come home, we've had to hire an immigration attorney to help us obtain a visa for Olive. Up until this point, our adoption was fully funded, including the 3rd trip. But we've since had to use our travel money for the third trip ($5,000) to pay for the unexpected attorney fees, now leaving us short. We don't expect to travel until late May, and we are continuing to pray that the Lord will continue to provide for this last leg of the process! If you feel led, all donations made through this paypal link go directly into a separate adoption account where 100% goes towards our third trip to bring her home. *
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